Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Prayers
I'm in the midst of rewriting the sections about my convent prayer life. Too young to have committed myself to such a rigorous lifestyle, I didn't appreciate the effort it took to learn to pray. It only seemed to me that we had to pray far too often; spend way too much time at it; all with very little result. God remained completely unreachable--something no amount of prayer would change. What I learned from spending hours in communal prayer was that God didn't seem to care a whit about ordinary girls like me. An opinion I didn't share with a single soul.
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I remember when I was young being told that I had to be very careful how I prayed. You have to use the right words. You have to think about the variables before doing the prayer. You have to consider if it is a selfish prayer or what it is for.
ReplyDeleteI was so afraid that I might say the prayer wrong, that I might use the wrong words or word it wrong, so that the prayer may not work as well as hoped.
Now I feel God will understand what is in my heart and not worry so much about the words.