Second Sign

According to the article I sighted in my previous post, the second sign that someone has been in a cult-- or has been brainwashed—is whether you were expected to regard the group leader as being a notch above everyone else, and as someone having some special kind of wisdom. Did s/he claim to speak for God?

Another positive check for my experience in the convent. During the initial years of my time in formation, our most revered authority figure was called Mother Superior. The members were subjected to her ultimate authority and expected to obey immediately and without question—even if directed to do something stupid or humiliating. For example, a nun might be were told to wash the dishes, put them back in the cupboard, take them out again, and rewash them. To the outsider,  a complete waste of time, to a nun, it was merely considered a test of her Obedience to God.

I admired and somewhat feared the Mother Superior, who reigned during the first five years of my initiation process (brainwashing). It was easy to identify her in the crowd. Her heels clipped stridently when she walked the hallways, her chin tilted up, eyes straight ahead, and long black habit swishing like a windblown sail in her wake. My heart always did a little  pitter-patter at the sight. It was like catching a glimpse of a movie star, especially when she deigned to glance my direction and smile. I walked on clouds for days afterward. My pitter-pattering heart quickly became a shudder, at the thought of crossing or disobeying her. From the moment of my entrance into that life, it was  because of such authority figures as her that I learned to operate in survival mode. I developed the most convincing good girl persona possible. After all, that was how nuns were supposed to be--right?


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